Health! The 'open sesame' to the sucker's purse!

I need a job that travels. That is one experience I would love to have. Stability is nice but it bores me. I always find that I'm excited when I start a new job, move into a new place, meet new people, find new locations however I also realize after a month I am over it already. I crave that new car smell.

I have a lease until June which really cramps the get up and go ability. I refuse to break my lease. My landlady is fantastic (for example: my a/c broke and I was stuck in misery for a day. While I was working my double my landlady replaced my a/c with a bad ass new unit and even bought me a six pack of sierra nevada.. how rad is that!). I sure hope that get up and go feeling will still be here in June and the usual distractions will just stay away. I don't want to be tied down.

Damn if only I could just say fuck it and go. But no, no sirs.. I will sit still for nine more months and just grin and bear it.

Being Human.. fuck. New fav show. Oi.

Back online. Rent my own place now. Found a studio apartment close to downtown. Very neat. Living solo is definitely a new experience. I am stoked to have the experience. I think I'm learning more lessons in my late 20s than I have in my entire life. Interesting. Hello!

Now its Saturday which means bad movies at a friend's house and work at 1am. Word.

Okay, I have come to terms that this is the most useless membership that I have. I mean hell, with blogs I just lost a friend because of one! I just read past posts and realized how moronic I sound. Do not get me wrong, I don't look down on anyone that finds therapy in this however I don't. Its been a disaster.

Its too public, its too easy, its ridiculous. We have gone from communicating with one another one on one to the internet. This is how we show our affection. This is how we show our irritation.

I haven't said a positive thing on here in forever and I doubt I ever will. I show up here when my life is falling apart and I'm too terrified to fix it. Well, I'm fixing things now. So livejournal... its been a fun number of years but good day to you sir! Good day!

01. Make a list of 5 things you can see:
gallon jug of water
ashtray
bottle of vitamin c
box of fruit chews
gnome


02. Would you ever eat a small child?
if that what it means to survive.. then hey.. don't judge me!


03. Is there anything in your fridge right now that you would never eat/drink?
totally.


04. What's your occupation?
caregiver


05. Do you nap a lot?
no but i'm sure i'd feel better if i did.


06. What was your first celebrity crush?
kevin costner. i like them mature.


07. What's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
mst3k


08. What was the last thing you ate today?
buffalo wings.


09. What was the last text message you received?
some random joking with moie.


10. What websites do you always visit when you go online?
the usual message whoring sites.

11. What was the last thing you bought?
a hamper and paper towels.


12. what are you listening to right now?
nofx


13. Do you think the Jonas Brothers are virgins?
just like all the other disney whores.


14. What is your zodiac sign?
aquarius


15. Do you use Wikipedia to look stuff up?
from time to time.


16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play?
kazoo


17. Do you have any siblings?
1 older brother.


18. Watchmen or The Dark Knight?
dark knight.


19. What are your plans for next weekend?
work. that's about as far as i have gotten.


20. Say something to the person who tagged you:
i wasn't tagged and i don't plan to tag.

Post the first line from the first journal entry in each month from the past year.

NO CHEATING!

January: I would like to see some positive changes within myself.
February: 2 hours spent socializing with co-worker
March: I've had again another intresting night.
April: And let me tell you I am in a shit mood.
May: I made a B in Astronomy!!!!!!!!!!!
June: i think i could have bronchitis again.
July: I have returned from my trip to Disney.
August: I think I could be one of the few people in the world that finds Molly Ringwald to be annoying.
September: THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
October: I love vegetables.
November: Obama is our president-elect!
December: **didn't make an entry for December. bad month.

Hot damn! We threw a bad ass party last night! Go us! People have already made requests for another one. It will be probably many months down the road but there is talk about doing the after Thanksgiving party annually.

It's simply titled Thanks For Nothing.

Next year we just may be going for round 2!

My friend and I are throwing a keg party! If you get some sort of weird desire to drive down to Bradenton there will be free beer and party time going on. Liquor is a BYOB status being the fact I am out of money now.

Our house is fucking rad and we really plan to do this up. I haven't thrown a party in years so I'm hoping for a good turn out.

Just throwing out the word.

THE AQUABATS!

I picked up my tickets tonight. The second show in the last couple of months that I am super duper excited for.

Sunday, today! Went to the Women for Obama walk across the bridge in Sarasota. There was at least a thousand people out there. It was awesome! Mccain/Palin assholes came around little and they were also solo and retarded. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon in Sarasota with lunch at Tijuana Flats and a couple of beers at a pretty smooth little pub near downtown.

Wrapped up the afternoon with a couple visits to some friends and picked up a couple groceries. Made a bad ass bleu cheese burger with french fries and pie. Oh yes, pie. It was delicious.

I'm moving again. Its just down the road but yeah can't seem to stay in one place longer than a year. I hate my job, however it pays the bills and I actually have health insurance. I am lonely, bored, drunk, and just down right a miserable human being. I do have optimisim. I actually have faith that things are going to work out.

I am fucked in so many ways but its all going in the right direction. I'm going to drink this quart of beer in honor of the idea that life is going to fucking kick ass like a mother bitch. And if it doesn't...well.... I really did enjoy that quart of beer at the time.

I love vegetables.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. jen
2. jennifer
3.

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. zekkiebaby
2. thatdrunkgirl
3. zillah

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. polish
2. french
3. irish

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. snakes
2. spider bites while i sleep
3. losing daisy

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. water
2. diet coke
3. cigarettes

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
1. plaid skirt
2. shirt
3. underwear

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. born to lose
2. social distortion
3. sludgeworth

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
1. born to lose - shades of grey
2. the menzingers - no ticket
3. 30 foot fall - hooray

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. confidence
2. comfort
3. trust

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
1. i like cats.
2. i quit drinking.
3. i actually give a damn about the people i talk to on the phone at work.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. arms
2. hair.. but no particular thing about it.. but sometimes it just works.
3. personality bitches.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. step aerobics
2. roller skating
3. drinking

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. step aerobics
2. roller skate
3. drink guiness

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
1. social work
2. criminology
3. crime scene cleaner

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. arizona
2. canada
3. travel europe

THREE NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. i
2. don't
3. care

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. stay at a job longer than a year
2. stay in a relationship longer then 2 months
3. stay in a single home for longer then a year

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. i give a shit about how i look
2. boys give me indigestion (or heart break.. whatever it is called)
3. i cook. i love to cook.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. i am a beer drinking virtuoso
2. i do not give shit if i break a nail
3. i find strip clubs entertaining

Hot buffalo wing flavor Snyder pretzel pieces have been my ruin today. I am full.

I had my first pedicure, manicure and eyebrow wax yesterday. Yes, I had my eyebrows done. It was absurd. The place served liquor. Now I have hooker red painted finger and toe nails and trimmed eyebrows. I doubt I'll go back. I didn't feel comfortable through the entire process and the last I heard that was a thing to do to just get away from it "all". I was tense, anxiety ridden and ready to run for the door the whole time.

I need to get a new tattoo or some sort of tattoo work done. That I can handle, that actually in some odd way makes me feel a little more comfortable.

Shit. I am bloated.

I'm going on the Activia challange.

I went to the flea market for the first time in years today. I realized that the items for sale are still terrible. I did, however, buy two eggplants, a couple baking potatoes and a couple sweet potatoes. The farmer's market area was fine.

Saw the Pink Lincolns last night. It was good.

A hurricane should be hitting the area this week but I'm sure it'll change its course tomorrow. I honestly believe we need a good natural disaster to stir up the pot some. It comes with its risk but its the course of nature and this area is long overdue.

As much of a broken record as this sounds, I am seriously trying to get the courage to pack up the things that mean the most to me and hit the road. I think I am sitting on my hands here and I don't feel like I am living life. I'm sure I have friends that could loan me a couch for a week or two until I head to my next destination. I have nothing here to stay for, I have a desire to do something, experience something but all I can think is dollar signs. It's what holds me back. Money.

I am going to explode and cover the world in buffalo wing pretzels and beer. And the desire to get the fuck on the road will still remain behind.

Well. The last couple of weeks I have been in a daze of boredom. I have been on the floor begging for some sort of change, ANYTHING to happen and kick in that spice for life again. I work up this morning with the headache from last night with the dehydration of the hang over I initiated to boot. The day did not start out good.

I was ready to quit the new job and return to my old one. I was ready to take all friends and abolish them from my life. I was ready to throw the blanket back over my head and just call it a day. Instead, I got out of bed and dressed real nice for work. I worked. I didn't complain. I took aleeve. I left my headache in the dust and I did my job. I came home to return to my solitary life after work and made some buffalo chicken poppers and microwave fries. I cracked open a beer and realized that every feeling I have had over the last two weeks is gone.

I no longer feel like I'm in that daze. I don't feel bored. I have no desire to quit my job or return to the old one. My friends I still love (although there's a couple that I think I need to sit down and explain some things to). This hit out of no where. I realized this when I took the trash out. I was standing on my front porch smoking a cigarette and the breeze just woke up my sense to reality. I felt alive again. Its been far too long.

Nothing has changed. Nothing. I just feel like I am here again.

I like this.

****Planning to head to Tampa this Friday. My cousin is having a party and I may even make a visit over to the Hassle. Yes, you read right.....the Hassle. :O (turns out fetish party is only in a side room... game on)

I think I could be one of the few people in the world that finds Molly Ringwald to be annoying.

Actually I must confess, I am not a fan of The Breakfast Club. Sixteen Candles is so so.

I feel better now.

I want to be a truck driver. Get a big rig, go across the country and back. Only two problems: my driving record SUCKS and I am a little apprehensive about having to drive such a large vehicle (especially if I have to drive in town to get to my destination). A baby truck would be much more to my liking.

My dad is a truck driver. I should have him teach me the ways.

Its a dream. *sigh*

there isn't a word to describe the frustration i feel tonight.

( survey )

Why is it everything that I am trying to accomplish right now is failing? I am completely speechless about how everything is completely sucking right now.

i think i could have bronchitis again. wth. i feel run down and my chest feels heavy but i don't feel super sick. if i don't smoke for the rest of the week could it possibly go away without a doctor's appointment?

i just do not have the time or money to be doing those kind of things.